
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Have u ever had this feeling of being lost to the world? I just did.
I was walking around, doing mainly so many things but it feels as if i've done nothing. And suddenly, this feeling of being detached from this world and everyone starts sinking in. Like -boom-, hey, i DON'T KNOW anybody. Who am i and what on earth am i doing here? No, it isn't identity crisis. It's the, i-don't-know-this-world kinda thing.
People say i know many people, and i don't think it's true. Thing is, it might be acquaintances with others, but i don't know many people. What they think or do, and most of the people i know i hardly talk to. Maybe the 'me' u all see isn't me. The one who's always laughing and churning out lame jokes constantly. But then again, i don't know me. Hold on, i'm in a totally confused state suddenly. Why am i doing what i'm doing? Suddenly, all these directions which i have planned out seems blurred. Or maybe, i don't want to follow it, yet i'm unsure of where i want to go to. Oh man, i'm terribly messed up.
The impending release of the O levels results are seriously scaring me. I get some sort of panic attack whenever i think about it. Sometimes, i just wanna let go and not care. But it's hard to, seriously. Many would say there's nothing i can really do right now and all, but i can't help but feel afraid. For those who already know what to expect, it'll probably be easier for them. But thing is, i don't. I don't know what to expect and i can't take any shock. This is driving me crazy.
I think i better stop with all these endless ramblings. It's not a good thing to spread insanity to others during the Chinese New Year season. Okie, so take care people and CIAOS~
6:36 AM