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Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Sometimes i really think
no one can say all that stuff
and expect everything to be alright.
my biggest regret
was to listen.
my guilt has turned into anger.
hell hath no fury a woman scorned.
i have such mixed emotions.
you all ruined my mood.
my life. my plans.
enough of this crap i say.
my friend never hurts me
your insecurities will.
things will never ever be the same again
you all know it won't
yeah when i'm older.
i think i learn
how to be a hypocrite
to be superficial.
to say things and not mean it.
just what u all want to hear.
want me to do.
all in the name of experience.
the ways of the world.
just what u all want me to do?
pretend everything's alright?
yah i will.
enough of that talk. don't even have to say it.
u all know how it'll turn out.
enough of this tirade.
enough of this judging. enough of this attacks.
enough of these insecurities. enough of these guilts.
enough of making my life worse than it already is.
enough of regrets.
enough of you.
8:32 PM
Sunday, December 09, 2007
It's not that i'm super sad or anything.
i just need this outlet to blab all i want to.
it's not just pure ranting, cos i hope it does make some sense.
work isn't what i thought it would be.
somehow, plans made after my exams turned different
but i went through it.
however, i did some reflections.
It's not that i hate the corporate world or i'm giving up.
i KNOW i would have to enter it somehow.
when i am older.
When i'm older, i'll go through what i go through now
I would work in this type of environment
I know i have to, because that's what adults do.
and i really won't have a choice because i have responsibilities to fulfil.
because i won't be 18 anymore.
but before that happens, i want to be 18.
I want to do stuff which i know i would never have a chance to in future.
I want to scoop icecream.
yes i know that may sound immature and stupid
but i just want to do it.
because i would not have a chance to anymore.
even if i want to in future.
I know i'll have to work in a big corporation in future.
But give me time
let me do what i want to now without any regrets.
Let me be 18
Let me have fun working.
Let me have my own plans.
when i am older, i will have a fair share of what i'm doing now.
but for now, just let be do simple jobs like scooping ice cream.
because when i'm older, i know it's impossible.
5:21 AM
Friday, November 23, 2007
So the exams has ended and i kissed formal schooling goodbye.
Finally no stress and worries on how difficult the exam would be but why am i not as happy as i thought i would be?
I had my holidays planned with gazillion things in mind but somehow, things don't always work out the way I want to. urgh.
COS I'M GNG TO WORK. YES. W-O-R-K.
The feeling of being so inadequate with zero work experience. I don't know why i just not looking forward towards it.
I also kind of hate the time when i wanna spend money and think of it in terms of WORKING HOURS. i really dont want that. I just wanna be young and be a student, doing all the crazy things we all always do and not having to feel embarrassed.
And i really scared if my working collegues would not like me! What if i'm like ostracised? ahhhhhh.
i wish i were still studying.
somehow being grownup is overrated.
6:58 AM
Friday, October 26, 2007
Like michelle, i'm only blogging because i'm on a break!
i NEED a break.
I really dislike all the mugging i have to do now.
And when i say dislike, i really dislike it!
It feels as if i'm losing myself.
But then again, it does feel empowering sometimes.
In the midst of the abhorrence trapped in me
there's a tinge of hope and happiness whenever i understand something, solve something, am able to do something
HAH but maybe it's just a spurt of delusion i'm experiencing.
Who cares, it'll all be over soon.
All i need to do is to press on for the time being and i can go back to being ME
7:55 AM
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
School.
is an irony itself.
Oh well. I guess i have to spend time with people i don't like.
Quality time just like what michelle says.
i hope it doesn't last.
and time would fly
as fast as
i fly when i see a lizard.
5:00 AM
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Since button asked me to write something on this seriously dead blog, i shall do just that. HEY U BUTTON, CAN'T COME WITH US ON HUDA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY and then called me at night to look out for the moon. I was so scared okay! U know how scary my rooftop can be at night, i was seriously freaking out!
And huda, i'm not posting my pictures here now! Cos i have crazy stalkers! HAHAHAHA. Oh and have to seriously update u guys on the club med thing!
Speaking of club med, pris miaw huda and i ( AMISHA U'RE INVITED TOO) wanna take a trip there. And sissy, intends to go there and have a wild time. I get this feeling, like what miaw said, we're going there to look out for pris and stop her if she gets too wild! Hahahahahaha. Amisha u have to be there to help us okay!
I really miss my secondary school friends so so so so much. HAHAHAHA. Yeapps, the crazy times we spent and how now huda cannot recognise priscilla. Oh well, i hope to spend more time with u guys soon after the A's!
and i'm not a bimbo.
7:49 AM
Thursday, August 30, 2007
CELEBRATED TEACHER'S DAY TODAY.
and the concert was like
b-o-r-i-n-g.
Last yr's was tons better.
But our teachers are so nice!
maybe that's because they told us to
REST during the hols (:
This is seriously boring.
yayee gng out again tmr!
3:04 AM